You Might Be A Redneck If...

You go skiing in sunny Colorado and forget to put sunscreen on the parts of your neck that aren't covered up by your jacket or hat. I developed this truly unique sunburn on my neck just behind my ears, as you can see in this photo. Luckily, I remembered to put sunscreen on my face and nose. Also, be careful when you open that tube of sunscreen that you packed at sea level once you reach the mountains. I failed to do so, and gave Michelle, who was standing next to me at the time, a shot of sunscreen to the shirt sufficient to cover a small child from head to toe.